What driver's ed class did this guy take, and was it for cars, or Segues?
Nick Coleman in Sunday's Strib:
http://www.startribune.com/stories/357/4688450.html
These calculations, of course, are based on an assumption that Wilkin drives responsibly, not exceeding the current speed limit, which, as we all know from driver's ed, is the safe maximum speed for ideal conditions.
Ummm... no, Nick, that's not where speed limits come from. If that was the case, we'd all be dead from driving 75 mph on Interstates that used to be limited at 55. And "ideal conditions?" Ummmm, no again. Speed limits are set to be acceptable speeds for day and night, even for when it might be RAINING!
03.29.04 @ 09:45 AM CDT [
link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
The RUSH is on!!
Got some good seats for Rush in Chicago June 5. It took an eBay adventure to do it, and I paid too much, but this could be the last go-round for the boys. Road trip! Well, you don't exactly call it a road trip when the kids are along, but hey, it's the closest I'll get. I sure hope Alex isn't in a Florida prison, leaving me with a non-recoverable premium hole in my pocket.
03.29.04 @ 08:34 AM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
Gimme back my windows, and I don't mean XP
So Saturday we went to look at progress of the new house, and when we got there, some dudes were packing up a couple windows (which were all stacked in the garage) onto a trailer. We figured no big deal, because they have guys working on Saturdays all the time. They finished quickly and then I took some pictures of the house.
WELL, it turns out that these dudes were STEALING the windows. Go figure. I feel stupid and angry at the same time, kind of like when John Kerry fell down skiing.
P.S. If you want to see the secret house construction pics, drop me a line.
03.23.04 @ 08:42 PM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
ANOTHER great software idea by the Huna
I am going to patent a new software concept that I ingeniously created today. It is called a "group." See, normally, in computer software, you have an object or an entity or some such structure to represent a "thing."
BUT -- what happens when you need more than one of these things? Sure, existing software can sometimes handle that. Thing 1, thing 2, etc. BUT -- DOUBLE BUT -- what if you need to keep these many things together? I have a solution! It's called a "group." With a group, many things are kept together. One of the most advantageous uses will be for lists.
Please contact me if you would like to license this concept for your software project.
03.15.04 @ 02:52 PM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
Steroids in baseball -- this nation's #1 top-priority
Truck check-in style -- TOP PRIORITY!
John McCain is a pompous doof. At least lately. No offense, John. He said that if Major League Baseball doesn't get tougher on steroids, Congress may need to act. Whaaaat? McCain, take your "I get to play baseball games because of the anti-trust exemption" card and trade it for "how to be a conservative" flashcard set, because you need help. What kind of bizzaro universe do I live in where the federal government is about to set drug testing policy for a sports league??? SHUT UP AND GO FORM A THIRD PARTY OR SOMETHING, JOHN. Or better yet, a think thank where we'll never hear from you again.
Doof #2: union head Donald Fehr. He got all dramatic about drug testing without probable cause. It is against the freedoms on which this country is based, he said. News to you Donnie: you can't even get a job at Home Depot without peeing in a cup, you OUT-OF-TOUCH GRANDSTANDING CLOWN! So take your self-righteous Barry Bonds-ass-kissing rhetoric and go pee in a $6 beer cup from Yankee Stadium.
There, I feel a bit better. It is just so depressing when both sides of a debate are such clowns.
03.11.04 @ 08:12 AM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
How do I fire the entire Dex staff?
So the new phone books came out, and somebody at Dex got on a "we're now separate from the phone company and we're gonna prove how innovative we are" kick. They put the white and yellow pages together: A-J while and yellow in the first book, and K-Z white and yellow in the second book. So now it's time to give them a "you're separate from the phone company and I hope you crash and burn" kick. KICK. KICK.
We never use the yellow pages. So we used to keep that book WAY in the back of the cupboard. But now we need to keep BOTH books handy. What a pain. This weekend I am going to rip the books in half, try to bind the white parts together, and throw the yellow parts in the garbage. Seriously. I will let you know how it turns out.
03.08.04 @ 07:21 AM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
Snowman, we hardly knew you
A big "shame on you" goes out to the punk kid who knocked over my four-year-old's first ever snowman sometime Saturday night. I will hunt you down like the dog that you are, smash your cell phone, burn all your CD's, and turn you in to the RIAA. And that's just for starters.
Snowman had tennis balls for eyes, big ears, a tennis ball can for a nose, and nice smiley mouth made with a curved sandbox scoop shovel. And -- this part really surprised me -- Snowman said he would vote for Nader. So maybe it's just as well he's not around anymore.
03.08.04 @ 07:13 AM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
The first friendspam in two years that I'm glad I got
author deleted to protect the guilty...
<<
This is pretty freaky..... While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. (do it right now ) Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it. Isn't that strange! (?)
>>
So I tried it. It's true! But unfortunately, it also made me pee my pants. And as stated, there was nothing I could do about it. YMMV, I guess.
03.05.04 @ 12:58 PM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
What a mixed up world
What kind of crazy, mixed-up world do we live in, that a movie about Jesus H. Christ can destroy Dirty Dancing 2 and Eurotrip at the box office? When I bought out a theater for the opening, I figured it was the hip thing to do. EVERYBODY wants to see Dirty Dancing, I figured, and I would be the cool host. Oh well.
03.03.04 @ 07:23 AM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
Stop the dinosaur insanity
This dinosaur stuff has gone too far. Parents everywhere take comfort in the fact that their kids (well, mostly boys) are INTERESTED in dinosaurs and LEARNING about nature and science and blah blah blah.
News flash: there never was such a thing as dinosaurs. They're made up, like dragons and unicorns. Some scientists got together and concocted the greatest fraud perpetrated on the American public since well I don't know what.
And even if they ARE real, and there really WERE dinosaurs, it's a waste of time. How about kids learn about whales, tornadoes, sharks, dogs, outer space, airplanes, the rotary engine, ANYTHING that will be useful in our lifetimes. This dinosaur stuff is a cop-out -- they look like monsters, so boys like 'em, and away we go, an educational fraud if there ever was one.
03.02.04 @ 05:08 PM CDT [link]{{STOPcommentslink}}
